Adoption, Surrogacy and IVF.... 'OH, MY'...

So a lot has happened since my last blog, where to begin? Okay, so let's rewind to the day I posted my last blog. After posting about us sending in our adoption application I had received two emails from two amazing girls, well, I guess now that we are all in our thirties I should say 'women'. One was from a friend I went to high school with in NJ and one was from a friend who went to high school with James here in Wyoming. Both women had read my blog and were so moved and touched by our story, each of them offered to be my surrogate! I was so touched I could not help but cry. They offered the greatest gift a person could give; a child.  One of these saints did not even know me and the other kind soul was a friend from childhood.  The kindness extended from these beautiful individuals leaves us hope for mankind.  After I had e-mailed back and forth with them, as well as meeting the one here in Wyoming in person to talk about logistics, James and I were so excited.  So then I called and researched Reproductive Centers that did Surrogacy, as my Dr. in Ft. Collins did not do surrogacy. I found an office in Denver as well as one in Billings, Montana. The only reason I looked to see if there was one in Billings was because it is a lot closer for the lady that lives in Sheridan, WY. I was also pleased to find out that the Clinic in Billings was cheaper than the one in Denver and that they were able to schedule our consult appointment right away, which happened to be Monday.

James and I drove up Monday and went to the Billings Clinic to see Dr. Montville.  We were so impressed by him. I loved the fact that he actually read my medical records before my appointment and was up to date on all my info. He said that after reading through all my fertility records he was curious to why we would want to use a surrogate. We told him we figured that was our best shot of having a biological child. After reading my test results, he stated that I do not have any problems with my uterus and my problem is PCOS and ovulatory problems. He explained to us that regardless of using my womb or a surrogate’s, the beginning process is the same.  Based on my results from the injectable cycles, my levels were excellent and that I did produce a lot of eggs. He also stated that I am a perfect candidate for IVF. When we told him that Dr. Bachus had told us our chances of success were not much higher than they were before and once I was 32 I would not be a great patient, Dr. Montville was shocked.  The Doctor stated that the average age for IVF is 35-40. We told him our concerns with another miscarriage and that we were told about the percentage of another miscarriage is even higher after two.  Dr. Montville told us that those statistics are accurate in a miscarriage that was visible on an ultrasound and had a heartbeat. My miscarriages were so early, neither being visible on an ultrasound or having a heartbeat, that they were actually considered biochemical pregnancies.  There is no way to know how many people have those because most women would never know.  Most would just assume they got their period a week or so late. I knew I was pregnant because I did fertility treatments and was told the day to test and had a blood test to confirm. He told us that that is very common and I am actually not at any increased risk of having a miscarriage than a surrogate.  

We would like to thank the amazing women that have offered to be our surrogate. They are truly selfless people. If this does not work on us it is great to know that we have a surrogate out there!

James and I were so glad to have a second option and that he was so nice and informative.  We were also glad that he did not make us feel like he had one foot out the door. So, that is where we are now. We are going to do IVF in September on me! We are so excited that this is an option. After last year we had dismissed any notion of me getting pregnant, so now we are hopeful. I am now on a mission to lose the weight I had gained in the last year again so I am healthier by September and it still gives us the summer to do fundraisers to help raise money to help the dream of our family come true. After all, it is still very expensive, almost the same cost as adopting and insurance will NOT cover a dime. I will keep everyone posted on what is next.  As soon as I design a t-shirt I will also tell you all about how you can purchase one. 

I have added the Paypal Donation button to my blog so if anyone feels like donating to us in our quest to start a family, we would feel so blessed.  The button is in the upper left underneath our pictures.  Any remaining funds donated after our attempts will be donated to a charity of our choosing relating to infertility, PCOS, adoption, or surrogacy.

This is amazing that our dream of getting pregnant and having a child might actually come true. Looking back I guess I should have got a second opinion a long time ago.

Adoption Application is sent!

James and I just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary on Saturday, April 28. We visited friends of ours and went out to an amazing restaurant on Saturday, in Denver, CO. This amazing restaurant is called TAG, if anyone is ever in the area and wants to try amazing food, you should go there. We tried Kangaroo Tar-tar and it was absolutely scrumptious. The drink of choice at dinner was to die for as well; a delectable concoction of kumquat and jalapeno, these mojitos were delicious! After dinner Lauren, Quin, Wes, Monica, James, and I went to The Red Square Vodka Bar for some Nemiroff, Ukrainian honey pepper vodka, and dill pickles. We then whisked off to The Retro Room where we had dill pickle and pepperocini flavored vodkas.  While there, we had yet another first, Scorpion Shots… and yes, we all ate the scorpion. It was great celebrating with friends, especially Lauren, my best friends for 22 years. She was unable to make it to our wedding to her being 9 months pregnant with her second child. Therefore, it meant a lot to me that she was able to be with us on our fifth anniversary. All this hoopla about weddings and anniversaries leads us to the adoption topic…

James and I on our 5th Anniversary holding our wedding photo

We have finally submitted a preliminary application for adopting through American Adoptions.

This has been a hard decision and a lot of research. I have called and talked to many agencies in adoption as well as surrogacy. To sum it up, using a surrogate from an agency is out of the question. The cost is $120,000.00-$150,000.00! So, needless to say, that is not happening. Again, I hate that our decision has to come down to cost, but it does. We are still very open to using a surrogate and if we came across someone we knew that was just willing to carry, just to help us out. If, of course, we could get everything worked out (insurance and all the other things that go into it), then we would for sure do that. In the mean time, we have decided that we should start the adoption process, since it potentially could take years! Now, we are waiting to hear from the Home Study agency to schedule our home study. Once that is complete, which I hear can take months, we will send various photos and our reference letters. When they are received by the adoption agency then our profile will be given to birth mothers and the true waiting game of hoping that someone will pick us to raise their child as our own will begin.

As I was researching adoption, I have come across so many other peoples’ blogs who are doing the same thing, sadly, as with everyone; the cost of adoption is a major burden. I have read that many people have had fundraiser events to help them raise money to adopt and start their family. Some of the things people have done are such great ideas. This is something that James and I will most likely consider doing once we have completed all the beginning stages. I will keep you all posted on that.

So, that is about it… we finally sent off the application and fee now let the waiting begin…

 “Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” - Oprah Winfrey

We are going to Adopt....

So, I know it has been a long time since I have last posted in my blog. I have had so much going on in my life; Weddings, birthdays, my husband's back surgery, Christmas, new years, the death of someone so dear to me, the birth of my new nephew Emerson Frank Read Egan and James telling me he is ready to adopt...

After our last failed attempt of fertility treatments, the Dr. told  me that once I hit 32 (which is this year) that my chances are about less than 1% to conceive. So, we took a break...We  had to 'heal' from the multiple failed attempts and two miscarriages. I have always known that I wanted a baby and that I would want to adopt a child. It has been  a lot harder for James to get on board.  I am sure it is difficult for a lot of people once  they realize that having your own biological child is out of the question. 

Even though I wanted to jump right into the next step, which for me was adoption, I knew we needed some time off from 'baby talk'. James was "over" the whole fertility thing. To be honest, emotionally I needed a break from it all as well. Finding out that my sister was pregnant (around the same time we found out that I was NOT pregnant on my last attempt of fertility treatment, which cost us a  lot of money) really did put me in a downward spiral of jealousy, self-pity and utter sadness. These feelings ultimately started to  consume me. I knew that my jealousy of any mother,  pregnant woman,  and hatred for anyone who was "young" and pregnant or has a child, was controlling my life. I hated that I felt that way, but I could not control these negative feelings. It was utterly consuming all my emotions. So after  months of learning to cope with  not having a child and deal with the emotions,  I think I have now come to a place where I can move on.

At the beginning of the year I also took a good look at my life. I realized that I should close my daycare. I love all the children I watched but knew that running a daycare when I could not have kids was like a slap in the face. I knew I needed to get out of the house and deal with adults. I also determined that I had to  de-clutter my home of toys and constant reminders that I do not have any children of my own. For the sake of sanity, I closed my daycare in January and got a job doing taxes. It is a seasonal job so I am still looking for more permanent employment. My current job will end around April 15th. It is unimaginable how much happier I am now that I have a job outside the house. I have sold most of my kids stuff and both rooms that used to be playrooms are now guest rooms...for now.

I honestly, slowly started to except that fact that it will be James and I for the rest of our lives (with our dogs, Duke and June Bug of course). Then, when James and I went out for dinner for Valentine's Day, he told me that he is ready to adopt. He knows that it does not matter how we have a child, but we should have one. We will be wonderful parents.. This was the greatest gift...ever ( and that was not even the "gift").

So now we are in the overwhelming stage of figuring out where to start. We are looking into three different possibilities. 

1. We are looking into surrogacy as an option. I so wish I 'knew' someone who would be our surrogate instead of finding a stranger do it. However, it is really expensive to use a surrogate agency.

2. We are looking into adoption from an agency.

3. Fostering a baby in hopes that we can adopt. After all there are many babies going into foster care that need families to adopt them. 

Money, sadly,  will be an issue for any of these.

If any of you  know someone wanting to put a baby up for adoption please let me know. If you know of, or  have used an adoption agency or  surrogate agency, I would love to hear about it. 

I have requested information from about 7 adoption agencies and we are waiting for their packets. We should have all the info from the promising agencies within a month so we can choose and send in our application and start the home study process. Of course it would be awesome if we lucked out and came across someone who wanted to give their baby up for adoption. We would only have to pay the cost of legal fees. We are not, however, waiting around for that... I am now in the process of not only looking at adoption agency's but also having our home study done which is a crucial part of the adoption process..

Tomorrow I am going to call  the State and make an appointment for James and I to talk to someone about fostering/adopting. I am very excited that James and I are in this together. We are both excited about knowing our dream of having a family (even though it is not the old fashioned way) is going to come true.

So here we go... the next chapter in our lives. 

I would like to thank you all in advance for your love and support as we start the adoption process and get closer and closer to our dream of a family. If anyone has any advice, connections, or words of wisdom, please share...

Operation Cook ... Night 9

So not only did I cook tonight.. I cooked this morning and this afternoon and this evening... I will start answering to Betty Crocker.. or Rachel Ray.. This morning I made a crustless  spinach quiche.. I made this in hopes that it would be delicious and I would have breakfast made for three days.. and let me tell you, I was right... it is absolutely delicious...

Crustless Spinach Quiche

Ingredients: 

1 Tbs olive oil

1 Onion

1 (10 ounce) package of frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained

5 eggs

3 cups shredded Muenster Cheese

1/4 tsp salt

1/8 tsp pepper

Directions:

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease pie pan

Heat oil in large skillet over med-high heat. 

Add onions and cook until soft. 

Stir in spinach and continue cooking until excess moisture has evaporated.

In a large bowl, combine eggs, cheese, salt and pepper. Add spinach mixture and stir.

Scoop into pie pan.

Bake about 30 mins. 

Let cool for 10 min.

Crustless Spinach Quiche

 Then for lunch I used the left over chicken from last nights recipe and made chicken salad.. which is pretty simple and I am sure you all have your own recipe for that..

Then came dinner which was so delightful.. Not only was the food to die for but we had awesome company.. Our best friends Paul and Nicole came over, I love that they come over even though they have three kids ( the youngest being 1 month old) and can put them to bed at my house and enjoy a nice dinner.. So on the menu tonight was Spicy Lime Grilled Shrimp with a side of Bacon Feta Beans and a salad.. We all felt that this meal was healthy but most parts and so delicious that you would probably pay about $25.00 per plate in a restaurant.

I know some of you might be thinking this woman has never cooked? wow she sure has good meals.. well, that is true.. however, every meal we have made is a "new" recipe so we are truly not sure until we try it.. we just pick recipes by the rich taste in food that we have..

Spicy Lime Grilled Shrimp

Ingredients:

1Tbs and 1-1/2 tsp cajun seasoning

1 lime, juiced

1-1/2 tsp olive oil

1/2lb peeled and deveined medium shrimp

Directions:

Mix together the cajum seasoning, lime juice, and oil in a plastic bag. Add shrimp, coat with the marinade, refrigerate for at least 20 min.

Pre-heat grill or skillet. Remove shrimp from marinade.

Cook about 2 min each side.

Spicy Lime Shrimp with Bacon Feta Beans and a salad with Shallot Cucumber Dressing

Bacon Feta Beans

Ingrediants:

8 slices bacon - cooked, crumbled and divided

1 (16 oz) package frozen cut green beans

1tsp minced garlic

4oz crumbled fets cheese

1/2 tsp onion powder

1/8 tsp ground pepper

2 Tbl water

Directions:

Place bacon in a skillet. Cook over med-high heat until evenly browned but only slightly crispy.

Drain grease, leaving a small amount in skillet for later use.

Crumble bacon, reserving 2Tbl for garnish.

Cook frozen bean in microwave for about 3 min, (until thawed but not fully cooked)

Stir in bacon and garlic in left over bacon grease until golden brown.

Add green beans and feta cheese, and season with onion powder and black pepper.

Cook and stir until most of feta has melted.

So those were the recipes for today.. I really hope some people try them.. Please comment if you do I would love to know if anyone got any inspiration  to try something new from my blog.

Speaking of blogs.. my husband just started his own blog.. he felt like he needed the world wide wed for a soap box as well..I mean who doesn't ? Anyway, I am so proud of him and jealous at the same time.. I feel his words flow effortlessly and he is interesting and comical and serious all at the same time.. He has one upped me for sure in the blog world.. but please check his blog out.. again if you are a blog reader you know that blogs are just random thoughts from random people.. http://randomlyatlarge.blogspot.com

Operation Cook Every Night.. Night 8

Sunday night I made Lemon Caper Chicken.. I have made this before and really like it.. We had a salad with it.. I was going to make a vegetable but we were actually not that hungry last night..

Lemon Caper Chicken

 2 Servings * 110 Calories

2 skinless, boneless chicken thighs

Juice of 1 lemon

1 Tablespoon olive oil

2 Shallots, minced

1 Tablespoon capers, drained

1 Teaspoon Dijon mustard

Preheat broiler, place chicken in a shallow roasting pan. Combine remaining ingredients and pour over chicken. Broil for 15 mins or until chicken is done.

Then for dessert I made Sugar Free - Carb Free - Gluten Free- Pumpkin Cookies.. Let's just call them Free Pumpkin Cookies, you might be thinking how could they taste good if they are "free" of everything? well, they are very good.. They do not get hard like a cookie since there is not any sugar but they do get crusty on the outside.. it is like having a nice bite of pumpkin pie filling..

"Free" Pumpkin Cookies

2 cups Almond meal 

(usually you can only get this in a health food store)

1 cup pumpkin 

2 eggs

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 cup Splenda or Stevia 

1 1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp pumpkin spice

1 tsp vanilla extract

Combine all ingredients in your mixer and scoop onto a pre-greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 15-20 mins.

Operation Cook Every Night.. Night 7

So Saturday we ran errands all day.. got most of our shopping done for the up coming week.. we ended up going out to lunch while we were out.. we had salads.. but we had a late lunch and did not want to make dinner.. We ended up having people over to watch the UFC Fights and to play poker.. I had sliced up some hard cheeses and salami and we pretty much just snacked on that all day.. However,  earlier that day James found an awesome website called www.allrecipes.com it is amazing.. you can create an account and search recipes by how many people you are cooking for ( it will do all the math and adjusting for you is you need it for 2 or 5 or 7 or however many) you can also limit your search to only low fat, low calorie, low carbs.. you name it. Once you find recipes you want you put it in your "recipe box" and hit grocery list.. it will create a shopping list for you.. So the first place we went was the kitchen to cross off everything we already had.. It made shopping so easy.. We did go over budget this week but I think that has to do to the fact we picked recipes with items like chili oil and stuff like that which was pricey..

I am starting to really like cooking.. I think it helps to have a menu planned out..

Operation Cook every night..Night 6

So Friday night was night 6 of cooking every night and I FAILED! Well, I guess I failed in the way of cooking.. however, we did not have to pay for our dinner and we ate healthy.. James and I went to the Elk Club for dinner with his dad and his wife.. We had baked Walleye with green beans and a salad... Therefore, in the way of saving money and calories it was still a success.. Weekends are hard for us to continue the cooking because I feel like we always have something going..