Our Event was a huge success!

So our IVF Awareness Dinner and Silent Auction was a huge success, and it would not have been possible without all the loving support we have from so many amazing friends and family.  James and I are truly blessed to have such amazing people in our lives. I want to also say a huge THANK YOU to my best friend of 23 years, Lauren Ng.  Without her, I would have never gotten done all that I needed to get done, nor would it have looked as nice as it did. She is the most amazing best friend a girl can ask for and her support in me during my struggle to be a mother has meant the world to me. Lauren, I am so grateful to have you in my life and my future children will be so lucky to have an amazing "Aunt".  I love you! 

Me and Lauren

We had over 40 items donated to us for the auction and every item was bid on numerous times. At the countdown to the end of the auction it was nice to see people running up and trying to scribble their name down last minute in an effort to win that item.  The dinner was delicious and the cake was so incredible. Our friend Ashley made this cake for us. She does have her own cake business so if anyone local is looking for a cake please call her. Please e-mail me for her information. We also had a local band TMJ Trio donate their time for our event.   They were amazing!

Our amazing cake!

Through the support of all of you who support us we have reached over 1/3 of the total cost of treatments. That is more than we ever imagined and cannot even express how grateful we are. Through this journey of ours it has really made us realize who are friends are and how amazing they are. 

James and I thanking everyone

On August 2, 2012, James and I had an appointment up in Billings with Dr. Montville. At this appointment they did a saline infused baseline ultrasound to make sure I did not have any more polyps growing and to get a good look at my uterus and lining. James and I also had blood work done. Every time you do fertility treatments they re-test you for all STD's and HIV. James also had his semen analysis which of course came back way above average in all areas. We also signed all of our consents for IVF and were told of the process and also told that I can do all my monitoring, prior to egg retrieval, here in Casper. This is amazing news. I do not have to take as much time off from work and I also do not have to stay in a hotel as long. We were also told that they send us a calendar of when to start taking all meds and dosage as well as when and where all my monitoring appointments are here in Casper as well as Billings. It is so organized and done for me, which I LOVE.   

So starting September 1, 2012 I will start taking my first dosages of medication and the monitoring will begin! If everything goes how they want it to (which might not) then I should be ready for egg retrieval on or around September 20, 2012 at which time I would need to be in Billings and stay there for a week. Once they remove my eggs they will be transferred to a Petri dish and the sperm will be placed on top of them. Once they are fertilized they hope to let the embryos grow for 5 days before they implant them. We were told that before they are implanted we get to go in the lab and look at the embryos under the microscope and get a photo, which is really cool.

I will continue to blog  our journey not only to keep people updated but also because this is my online journal of what goes one.

I still have shirts and totes left over and for sale so please let me know if you would like one! 

Thank you to all the amazing supportive people in our lives.

Shirts For Sale

So James and I are pleased to announce that we did sell our 4 wheeler and truck! Now, if we could just sell the 5th wheel things would really be looking good. So, if anyone knows of anyone looking for an amazing 5th wheel that sleeps 8 please let me know.

Today I talked with the Billings Clinic and the nurse prescribed me some meds to start the beginning phases of IVF, which are: Progesterone (which will make me start my 'cycle') and Mononessa Tablets (birth control, yes, I know it seems weird to go on birth control when you are trying to have a baby but this helps regulate your hormones before you start the heavy duty IVF drugs). I was told to call the Clinic on Day one of my cycle so she can call in the blood-work for me to do on day 3. Most likely the last week in July we will be heading to Billings for a fun filled DAY of testing for both James and I. After that is complete I believe I just continue the birth control for the month of August and start all the crazy drugs in September..

So, on the note of IVF fast approaching I have two designs for shirts to choose from if you would like to purchase a shirt to support our journey. You can also purchase a tote bag if that is more your style. I am taking pre-orders now and will place the order July 30th. If you would like a shirt or a bag you can purchase one by clicking on the donate button on the upper left corner of this blog for the price of your item or you can mail us a check payable to Alicia and James Schaffner 1730 East 26th Street, Casper, WY 82601. However, please put comment in your donation or e-mail me your size and address of where to send it. If you are local you can also pay with cash.

Our IVF Silent Auction and Dinner is for sure August 18, 2012 at 6:00pm I am in the process of printing all of the paper invitations. I am missing a bunch of addresses so if people could e-mail me their addresses I can send them a formal invitation. If you know you will be attending and would like to purchase your tickets through this blog you can through the donate button, please let us know how many and if you want chicken or steak. The tickets are $30.00 each and will include appetizers, salad, chicken or steak as well as potato, veggie and dessert.

Again, we can not thank you all enough for how much love and support you are giving us in our journey to start our family. We hope your summers have been wonderful.

Mens shirts come in S-2XL

Ladies style shirts come in S-XL

Canvas totes!

I will be ordering extras when I place the order for people who miss the order deadline. Thank you in advance for your loving support!

Where does the time go?

I cannot believe that it is almost July. Time sure does fly. I hope everyone is having a great summer and staying cool from this heat.  Here in Wyoming and Colorado it has been one HOT June which is very unusual, and, unfortunately, has caused numerous fires throughout Colorado and Wyoming.   Everyone should say an extra prayer tonight for all the people who have lost their homes and for the fire fighters who are working hard to contain these massive fires.

As for me, I started a new job at the end of May. I am working as an assistant for an Oral Surgeon. It is a very fast paced job with a lot to learn, which I love. So far, it is a great place to work and all the people are really nice. I am very lucky to have found a great job that I am interested in and that has great pay.

James and I have decided on the date of our IVF Benefit and Silent Auction:  August 18, 2012. We are having a sit down dinner with salad, potato, vegetable and your choice of steak or chicken, as well as dessert.  We have booked the venue which is The Powder River Veterans Club here in Casper on 1st Street. There will also be a live jazz band for the silent auction and dinner.  A DJ will play music after dinner for some dancing. There will, of course, be a cash bar. We are excited about it and are very blessed that we already have so many people willing to donate items for our silent auction. If anyone wants to donate anything for the silent auction just let us know as we are compiling stuff now so we can make sure we have a variety of things to offer. We are also going to do a 50/50 raffle at our Dinner Benefit.

As for my idea of making and selling t-shirts the design should be done this weekend and I will post a photo and start taking orders.  A good friend of mine, Justin Junkins, is helping me put my ideas into a digital image as well as making it better than my original drawing. So here is a big thank you to Justin for offering to do this for us. He is also helping me make the tickets and invitations/flyers for our benefit. Soon I will have those and will make a facebook event as well as send out paper invitations to all the people I know that do not have or check facebook often. Words cannot express how grateful we are to have such wonderful people in our lives that support our journey of starting a family.

I have added the Paypal Donation button to my blog so if anyone feels like donating to us in our quest to start a family, we would feel so blessed.  The button is in the upper left underneath our pictures.  Any remaining funds donated after our attempts will be donated to Pay it Forward.  The mission of the Pay it Forward Fertility Foundation is to help reduce the cost of infertility treatment by providing grants and to educate couples about infertility. 

If anyone is wondering what else James and I are doing to try and come up with the money, besides having benefits and having wonderful people donate to us, I will tell you. We currently are trying to sell our 4 wheeler, truck and 5th wheel. We figured we should sell the "big boy toys" to make money so we can have a baby and buy baby toys. So on that note, if anyone knows of anyone who is looking for a 4 wheeler, truck or 5th wheel let us know I have listed the descriptions below as well as posted a picture of each. Oh, and we are also selling some music equipment so if anyone is interested in what that might be please message me.

2007 Yamaha Grizzly 660

2007 Yamaha Grizzly 660 Tons of upgrades! Lifted 2'', Snorkeled, Clutch mods all the way around, Gorilla axles, Passenger seat with storage(another photo) also comes with winch and front storage bags, outlaw MST 26'' tires, Custom exhaust, extra parts. Runs Great. $5,000.00 OBO If interested please message me.

2009 GMC 2500HD Sierra Z71 Package

2009 GMC 2500HD Sierra Z71 package. 4 door, long bed with Duramax Diesel Engine. 45,000 miles. XM Radio, blue tooth, key-less entry, power seats, power locks, power windows, power/defrost mirrors, i-pod input, on-star, Hide-a-ball (goose-neck ball) in bed, towing package, grill guard, Nerf bar running boards, driving lights, $1500 below book EXCELLENT CONDITION $35,000.00 FIRM. 

Please message me if interested.

2005 Montana Mountaineer Fifth Wheel Trailer

For sale is a 2005 Montana Mountaineer Fifth Wheel trailer. SLEEPS 8! The Model is a 318BHS and it is 34' long.  It comes with the ranch hand adapter for a gooseneck.  This is feature loaded for certain.  2 slide outs, bunk house, two sound systems(12v and 110v), 2 solar panels, built in 5kw propane generator that starts from inside, outdoor shower, tons of storage, tv, awning, bathroom, shower/tub, full kitchen, microwave, ceiling fan, auto vent in kitchen, aftermarket queen size mattress in bedroom, full size master closet, dressers in both bedrooms, hot water, forced air furnace, oven, air conditioning, fully enclosed under belly, lifted 4 inches, roof rack, tow hitch on back to pull 2nd trailer, great tires, spare, hydraulic front jacks, built in stabilizers.  Asking $27000 books for $29k. If interested let me know and I can e-mail all the pictures of the inside.

We have the ability to accept credit cards.

I hope everyone is happy and healthy and continue to enjoy their summer. I will post this weekend about our t-shirt sale and as soon as the invitations, with more specific details of our benefit, are done I will post that as well. However, consider this an informal 'Save the Date' for August 18th if you are interested in purchasing a ticket to our IVF Benefit & Silent Auction.

 

Adoption, Surrogacy and IVF.... 'OH, MY'...

So a lot has happened since my last blog, where to begin? Okay, so let's rewind to the day I posted my last blog. After posting about us sending in our adoption application I had received two emails from two amazing girls, well, I guess now that we are all in our thirties I should say 'women'. One was from a friend I went to high school with in NJ and one was from a friend who went to high school with James here in Wyoming. Both women had read my blog and were so moved and touched by our story, each of them offered to be my surrogate! I was so touched I could not help but cry. They offered the greatest gift a person could give; a child.  One of these saints did not even know me and the other kind soul was a friend from childhood.  The kindness extended from these beautiful individuals leaves us hope for mankind.  After I had e-mailed back and forth with them, as well as meeting the one here in Wyoming in person to talk about logistics, James and I were so excited.  So then I called and researched Reproductive Centers that did Surrogacy, as my Dr. in Ft. Collins did not do surrogacy. I found an office in Denver as well as one in Billings, Montana. The only reason I looked to see if there was one in Billings was because it is a lot closer for the lady that lives in Sheridan, WY. I was also pleased to find out that the Clinic in Billings was cheaper than the one in Denver and that they were able to schedule our consult appointment right away, which happened to be Monday.

James and I drove up Monday and went to the Billings Clinic to see Dr. Montville.  We were so impressed by him. I loved the fact that he actually read my medical records before my appointment and was up to date on all my info. He said that after reading through all my fertility records he was curious to why we would want to use a surrogate. We told him we figured that was our best shot of having a biological child. After reading my test results, he stated that I do not have any problems with my uterus and my problem is PCOS and ovulatory problems. He explained to us that regardless of using my womb or a surrogate’s, the beginning process is the same.  Based on my results from the injectable cycles, my levels were excellent and that I did produce a lot of eggs. He also stated that I am a perfect candidate for IVF. When we told him that Dr. Bachus had told us our chances of success were not much higher than they were before and once I was 32 I would not be a great patient, Dr. Montville was shocked.  The Doctor stated that the average age for IVF is 35-40. We told him our concerns with another miscarriage and that we were told about the percentage of another miscarriage is even higher after two.  Dr. Montville told us that those statistics are accurate in a miscarriage that was visible on an ultrasound and had a heartbeat. My miscarriages were so early, neither being visible on an ultrasound or having a heartbeat, that they were actually considered biochemical pregnancies.  There is no way to know how many people have those because most women would never know.  Most would just assume they got their period a week or so late. I knew I was pregnant because I did fertility treatments and was told the day to test and had a blood test to confirm. He told us that that is very common and I am actually not at any increased risk of having a miscarriage than a surrogate.  

We would like to thank the amazing women that have offered to be our surrogate. They are truly selfless people. If this does not work on us it is great to know that we have a surrogate out there!

James and I were so glad to have a second option and that he was so nice and informative.  We were also glad that he did not make us feel like he had one foot out the door. So, that is where we are now. We are going to do IVF in September on me! We are so excited that this is an option. After last year we had dismissed any notion of me getting pregnant, so now we are hopeful. I am now on a mission to lose the weight I had gained in the last year again so I am healthier by September and it still gives us the summer to do fundraisers to help raise money to help the dream of our family come true. After all, it is still very expensive, almost the same cost as adopting and insurance will NOT cover a dime. I will keep everyone posted on what is next.  As soon as I design a t-shirt I will also tell you all about how you can purchase one. 

I have added the Paypal Donation button to my blog so if anyone feels like donating to us in our quest to start a family, we would feel so blessed.  The button is in the upper left underneath our pictures.  Any remaining funds donated after our attempts will be donated to a charity of our choosing relating to infertility, PCOS, adoption, or surrogacy.

This is amazing that our dream of getting pregnant and having a child might actually come true. Looking back I guess I should have got a second opinion a long time ago.

Adoption Application is sent!

James and I just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary on Saturday, April 28. We visited friends of ours and went out to an amazing restaurant on Saturday, in Denver, CO. This amazing restaurant is called TAG, if anyone is ever in the area and wants to try amazing food, you should go there. We tried Kangaroo Tar-tar and it was absolutely scrumptious. The drink of choice at dinner was to die for as well; a delectable concoction of kumquat and jalapeno, these mojitos were delicious! After dinner Lauren, Quin, Wes, Monica, James, and I went to The Red Square Vodka Bar for some Nemiroff, Ukrainian honey pepper vodka, and dill pickles. We then whisked off to The Retro Room where we had dill pickle and pepperocini flavored vodkas.  While there, we had yet another first, Scorpion Shots… and yes, we all ate the scorpion. It was great celebrating with friends, especially Lauren, my best friends for 22 years. She was unable to make it to our wedding to her being 9 months pregnant with her second child. Therefore, it meant a lot to me that she was able to be with us on our fifth anniversary. All this hoopla about weddings and anniversaries leads us to the adoption topic…

James and I on our 5th Anniversary holding our wedding photo

We have finally submitted a preliminary application for adopting through American Adoptions.

This has been a hard decision and a lot of research. I have called and talked to many agencies in adoption as well as surrogacy. To sum it up, using a surrogate from an agency is out of the question. The cost is $120,000.00-$150,000.00! So, needless to say, that is not happening. Again, I hate that our decision has to come down to cost, but it does. We are still very open to using a surrogate and if we came across someone we knew that was just willing to carry, just to help us out. If, of course, we could get everything worked out (insurance and all the other things that go into it), then we would for sure do that. In the mean time, we have decided that we should start the adoption process, since it potentially could take years! Now, we are waiting to hear from the Home Study agency to schedule our home study. Once that is complete, which I hear can take months, we will send various photos and our reference letters. When they are received by the adoption agency then our profile will be given to birth mothers and the true waiting game of hoping that someone will pick us to raise their child as our own will begin.

As I was researching adoption, I have come across so many other peoples’ blogs who are doing the same thing, sadly, as with everyone; the cost of adoption is a major burden. I have read that many people have had fundraiser events to help them raise money to adopt and start their family. Some of the things people have done are such great ideas. This is something that James and I will most likely consider doing once we have completed all the beginning stages. I will keep you all posted on that.

So, that is about it… we finally sent off the application and fee now let the waiting begin…

 “Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” - Oprah Winfrey

We are going to Adopt....

So, I know it has been a long time since I have last posted in my blog. I have had so much going on in my life; Weddings, birthdays, my husband's back surgery, Christmas, new years, the death of someone so dear to me, the birth of my new nephew Emerson Frank Read Egan and James telling me he is ready to adopt...

After our last failed attempt of fertility treatments, the Dr. told  me that once I hit 32 (which is this year) that my chances are about less than 1% to conceive. So, we took a break...We  had to 'heal' from the multiple failed attempts and two miscarriages. I have always known that I wanted a baby and that I would want to adopt a child. It has been  a lot harder for James to get on board.  I am sure it is difficult for a lot of people once  they realize that having your own biological child is out of the question. 

Even though I wanted to jump right into the next step, which for me was adoption, I knew we needed some time off from 'baby talk'. James was "over" the whole fertility thing. To be honest, emotionally I needed a break from it all as well. Finding out that my sister was pregnant (around the same time we found out that I was NOT pregnant on my last attempt of fertility treatment, which cost us a  lot of money) really did put me in a downward spiral of jealousy, self-pity and utter sadness. These feelings ultimately started to  consume me. I knew that my jealousy of any mother,  pregnant woman,  and hatred for anyone who was "young" and pregnant or has a child, was controlling my life. I hated that I felt that way, but I could not control these negative feelings. It was utterly consuming all my emotions. So after  months of learning to cope with  not having a child and deal with the emotions,  I think I have now come to a place where I can move on.

At the beginning of the year I also took a good look at my life. I realized that I should close my daycare. I love all the children I watched but knew that running a daycare when I could not have kids was like a slap in the face. I knew I needed to get out of the house and deal with adults. I also determined that I had to  de-clutter my home of toys and constant reminders that I do not have any children of my own. For the sake of sanity, I closed my daycare in January and got a job doing taxes. It is a seasonal job so I am still looking for more permanent employment. My current job will end around April 15th. It is unimaginable how much happier I am now that I have a job outside the house. I have sold most of my kids stuff and both rooms that used to be playrooms are now guest rooms...for now.

I honestly, slowly started to except that fact that it will be James and I for the rest of our lives (with our dogs, Duke and June Bug of course). Then, when James and I went out for dinner for Valentine's Day, he told me that he is ready to adopt. He knows that it does not matter how we have a child, but we should have one. We will be wonderful parents.. This was the greatest gift...ever ( and that was not even the "gift").

So now we are in the overwhelming stage of figuring out where to start. We are looking into three different possibilities. 

1. We are looking into surrogacy as an option. I so wish I 'knew' someone who would be our surrogate instead of finding a stranger do it. However, it is really expensive to use a surrogate agency.

2. We are looking into adoption from an agency.

3. Fostering a baby in hopes that we can adopt. After all there are many babies going into foster care that need families to adopt them. 

Money, sadly,  will be an issue for any of these.

If any of you  know someone wanting to put a baby up for adoption please let me know. If you know of, or  have used an adoption agency or  surrogate agency, I would love to hear about it. 

I have requested information from about 7 adoption agencies and we are waiting for their packets. We should have all the info from the promising agencies within a month so we can choose and send in our application and start the home study process. Of course it would be awesome if we lucked out and came across someone who wanted to give their baby up for adoption. We would only have to pay the cost of legal fees. We are not, however, waiting around for that... I am now in the process of not only looking at adoption agency's but also having our home study done which is a crucial part of the adoption process..

Tomorrow I am going to call  the State and make an appointment for James and I to talk to someone about fostering/adopting. I am very excited that James and I are in this together. We are both excited about knowing our dream of having a family (even though it is not the old fashioned way) is going to come true.

So here we go... the next chapter in our lives. 

I would like to thank you all in advance for your love and support as we start the adoption process and get closer and closer to our dream of a family. If anyone has any advice, connections, or words of wisdom, please share...