Had an amazing weekend...

On Friday James came home from lunch with a brilliant  idea of going to Deadwood, SD for two nights.. So we called two Friends of ours and asked them to join.. once all the kiddos were picked up we headed up to Deadwood for some gambling at the casios and free drinks! It was so much fun.. as soon as I got there I put $5.00 in a penny machine and won $161.00!

Angie and I with our winnings

Needless to say, we went off of our diet this weekend to enjoy ourselves and we for sure did that.. Saturday it was a gorgous day to walk around Deadwood and once we found a $2.00 blackjack table we stayed there for about 10 hours playing... I was winning alot James not so much... but hey we still had a great weekend and I love impromptu vacations.. they always seem more fun.. and I feel like James and I always have fun no matter where we are...

James and I goofing off

Once we got back on Sunday it was around 6:30 and raining like crazy (after Saturdays SNOW.. yes, snow at the end of May) so James and I went to a double feature we saw The Hangover II and Fast Five.. both good movies.. On Monday, after sleeping the entire morning away we went to a BBQ at his dads house and then off to another movie.. we saw Bridesmaids.. It was cute but not nearly as funny as the previews made you think it was..When we go home we decided to stick with the movie theme and watched SWAT.. ON DEMAND... then we were off to bed..To sum it up.. we had a great weekend of great friends, free drinks, gambling, movies.. and lounging around.. So now that it is over we are back on the wagon.. back on the diet today..

Crazy Friday...

Today has started out being a crazy morning..I have 8 kiddos who all decided to have a water fight outside with puddle water..and then complained about being cold..So it took awhile to change 7 kiddos out of wet clothes and into new one.. I am also dealing with trying to get my medical records, having my fertility Dr. write a letter for me for the grant as well as realizing that I do NOT have my birth certificate and neither do my parents.. So I just filled out that for to request 2 certified copies.. I also have a 24 page application to fill out as well as copy all of our tax returns for the past couple years.. It is a bunch of work but will be totally worth it if we are chosen for the $10,000 grant.. if we are we find out in Sept. and then we will have to go to DC on Nov. 5 for the banquette and then we will receive our check Jan. 1, 2012.. I really really hope I am chosen.

About our vacation back east... I am so sad.. I do not know if we will be able to go now.. United raised the amount of miles you need and we do not have enough.. we did have friends and family that were willing to gift us miles only to find out you only can accept 15,000 a year as a gift transfer total.. and it will cost $15.00 per 1000 miles! are you kidding me with that.. that is over $200.00 for that I could almost buy a ticket on SouthWest.. So now I am looking to see what it would cost us to pay for SouthWest tickets but then we have to figure out the rental car.. aahhhh why oh why is it so expensive to travel? I really really want to go and show James where I am from.. and I want to see my Philly friends..I will have to try and figure it all out.. heck.. it might be cheaper for us to go on vacation in Mexico.. ha ha.. All I know is I really want a vacation..Our honeymoon was the last time James and I were on a weeks vacation and I think we both need it..

I hope everyone.. has a great weekend.. James and I are actually staying home.. Which is unheard of for us..

8 min. Abs....

So my best friend Lauren and I have decided that everyday during nap time we will do 8 min abs video.. We talk to each other during every nap time anyway so we will keep each other motivated..it is very possible that we will actually do it while on the phone.. Some might say that is weird but we have watched entire episodes of shows together on the phone...

I am also proud to announce that in once week I have lost 2 inches in my waist, 1 inch in my hips, and .5 inch in my thighs...I love the fast results of this diet..

I have got to get these abs as flat as possible before my vacation this summer to NY, NJ & Philly.. I am so excited about it.. I am now in the process of seeing if there is a train from NYC to HB, NJ and the rent a car from there...We plan on going to see Jersey Boys while in NYC which will be James first Broadway show..Having something this big to look forward to makes sticking to the diet so much easier..

It is so random each morning to see who cries when they are dropped off. There are only 2 boys that some times do.. it is funny they are hysterical and as soon as their parent is out of sight they stop crying and play.. So when I saw this next comic I knew I had to post it..

The Lazy Song..

So today has started out with 5 of the cutiest boys in  the world dancing around to Bruno Mars "The Lazy Song".. it is so cute.. I have them on video but I do not know how to post it on Facebook.. It is another rainy day here in good ole Casper, WY.. which is odd for Wyoming but I am not going to complain, rain equals less money I have to spend on water for my sprinkler system..

I have all 8 kiddos today which will be a fun day of dancing, play doe, and maybe painting.. all depends on how well they behave..This is my last week with 3 of the kiddos since they are teachers kids.. which totally stresses me out.. oh and one of my full time (year round) this is his last week for 2 weeks because they are going on vacation.. I stress because it is not like I run a daycare for fun.. I actually need the money to pay bills...It is funny that some people who I have addressed my concern to said "oh you will be fine".. I explain to them I will be cutting my weekly salary by more  than a half.. and I have actually had someone say.. "oh well you don't need all that money for bills right? you put some in savings".. HA HA.. I wish I could put most in savings. but no, I actually use the money I make from my job to pay bills.. But I am sure everything will work itself out....

As for the diet..I am doing well, I am proud of myself for not weighing myself everyday like I did last week.. I am past the starvation period.. and soon the inches will be falling off.. I measure myself on Thursday since that is the day I did last week....

One more thing to touch on since I have not mentioned it since my big fat negative..What is going on with my infertility.. well, right now I am fighting with the Hospital in Ft. Collins, my Dr. and my insurance company.. Back before we did this past round of injectables my Dr. wanted to run a series of tests to see if we could find a reason for my miscarriages I had said to him in his office I would only do them if they were considered LOSS and he said oh yes they are.. Of course they coded it infertility testing in which my insurance company refuses to pay.. I have called multiple times now.. The Dr. office said they sent the hospital new codes to be submitted to my insurance and the hospital says they never received it.. so now I have to call all the time and check to make sure this is getting done because there is no way I am paying the $2500.00 lab bill...
I am also still waiting to get our check for our meds from months ago and Dr. visit from our Flex account.. because right now until I get that check we have technically paid each bill twice (once from James paycheck to our Flex account and then us paying out of pocket)...

I am in the process of filling out an application for an infertility grant.. the application is 27 pages long I need to request all my medical records get letters and our tax returns gathered.. but it is worth it.. if we are chosen Jan. 1, 2012 we will get a check for $10,000.00 for infertility..Other than that we will be waiting until our next tax return to try again..  People constantly ask us why we don't just get a loan and do it.. well, here is our thought.. If you do not have cash for something you should wait until you do.. in this day and age to many people get into trouble with loans and credit cards and more and more young people are having to file bankruptcy.. Here is another reason.. Yes, we could get a loan and it would then take us a year to pay it off.. to what, get another loan? how is that any different that what we are currently doing? we are trying once a year with CASH from our tax return.. I guess the difference is I do not have a required monthly payment nor am I paying interest..
I also think I need to revamp my "Top 11 things NOT to say to someone dealing with Infertility" blog.. I would add..
DO NOT EVER SAY:

"If you wanted it bad enough you would get a loan and/or do what you had to do"

 .. all I have to say about that is shame on anyone who has said that to me or about anyone dealing with this... to even insinuate that I do not want it bad enough is an insult in itself.. but also, you do not know my detailed financial situation or financial plan in life.. running out and getting a loan may be a way some people live but we do not. It is just insane to ever make a remark about how bad someone wants something.. Regardless of what is going on in someones life, whether is be infertility, sickness, bankruptcy, etc.. never assume someone does not "want it" bad enough just because they do not do what you may do in that situation..

Okay, I am off my soap box for today..

Just another Tuesday...

Today is just another day.. I am watching 4 little boys and don't really have much planned.. It has been raining here.. which I love, the storms remind me of NJ.. Thunder, lightening, and pouring rain that last about 30 min..The only downside to the flash flood type rain is it is washing away our seed on our grass.. our front yard is on a hill and I am not happy that our expensive seed is being washed away..
Now that I have been on my diet for a week I am going to start working out with weights and doing ab exercises.. I can not start doing vigorous cardio yet since my calorie and carb consumption is so low.. but I might as well tone and build muscles...

There is nothing permanent except change.

Until next time....

Down 5lbs the first week....

So it has been a week since I went back on the Ideal Protein diet and I am proud to say I lost 5lbs.. now if I could only stick with 5 a week I would be done in 3 more weeks! I do need to try and eat the right amount of veggies and then I might lose 5 a week.. I tend to forget to eat my veggies.. ha ha..

Well, since we are all here.. the rapture did not occur.. ha ha.. now I guess we can live our life's until the next prediction which is October.. and that day will just be yet another excuse to have a party..

So this weekend James and I planted our flower garden and seeded our front yard.. now lets hope that the seed takes.. I actually really do enjoy gardening.. now if only we had the money to do our vegetable garden this year.. but that is a big project.. but I think I will week that area and put hanging plants for this year so at least it looks nice.. The rest of the weekend James and I had a great time not having plans.. we would get in the truck and decide what to do next.. if was fun NOT having an agenda..

We had to raise the flower bed and plant.. Now it looks nice

So now we start another week on the diet.. James is out of town for the entire week in ND which is hard but I guess I am used to it.. This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend and I think this is the first year that we do not have any plans.. and I actually am fine with it.. We will continue to work around the house and maybe go to the lake for a day.. our weakness will be going to a BBQ or something because enjoying a cocktail and eating delicious fattening food is our weakness..but I have will power and a goal in a time frame..

and if dieting does not work for me (which I know it will) I could live by this quote

"If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people."

I need to get our yard work done before the end of the world...

So I guess the end of the world is suppose to be tonight!? We shall see.. ha ha.. I find it all a bunch of crazy talk..Haven't people been saying that for hundreds of years? As for our big plans for our "last" day on Earth.. we are going to seed our front yard and plant flowers...As for what we are doing this evening when the world doesn't end... humm who knows.. we both are pretty chill now that we are on the diet.. Last night was fun.. After James birthday dinner my sister and brother-in-law come over and the 4 of us played Settlers of Catan.. which is a really fun game.

As for the diet this week has been hard.. it has tested all sorts of will power.. but like I had stated before.. this is the only thing I CAN CONTROL.. but man has there been times where I think.. who cares I do not need to control anything.. But I have learned a lesson.. and that is I really can not weigh myself everyday.. Only once a week.. because when I see the weight go down then up and back down it get discouraging..

I hope you all enjoy your last day on earth.. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.... and I will blog tomorrow.. since we will still all be here..

Happy Birthday to my Husband!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES...

32 years ago the love of my life was born.. He is currently on his way home from Grand Junction, CO.. He should hopefully make it back in time to go out to dinner.. I think we are going to try a local restaurant that offers an Ideal Protein meal.. Then perhaps a movie.. and our weekend plans consist of seeding our front yard.. Yes, I know it is going to continue to rain for the next 7 days so we might be out there in our rain gear... but we need to get it done and all the rain will help the seed..

This is the perfect comic for James birthday since we are back on a diet.. ha ha...
For those of you who do not know what our yard looks like.. it is hideous.. The house we bought was a foreclosure and was vacant for awhile and according to neighbors they never took care of it anyway.. We are hoping some of the grass comes back and that the seed will take.. James and I hate that our yard looks the way it does..We also need to go and buy 2 new trees.. they had two small trees in the front but of-course they are both dead..

Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.

Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.

Delicious food is so tempting.. it is so easy to want to cheat on the diet when you are surrounded by good food.. but all I think about is what I truly want to look like and know that this is something I can control.. There are not many things in life that you get complete control over... but your weight is for sure one of them..If anyone else out there is currently dieting and feel the urge to cheat.. think of yourself naked.. standing there in front of the mirror... Then picture yourself jumping... now do you really want that piece of bread?? Now, how many of you who are not on a diet just pictured that and now want to be? ha ha.. But that is what I have to do when I want to cave in and try to tell myself.. just one bite won't hurt.. it will, because one bite always turns into a bunch more..

The above comic is so true.. I have been on my diet for 3 days now and I do feel great.. but then I just have to remind myself if I cheat.. I will have to do those first three days over again.. the 3 days of hell, where you feel as if your stomach is actually eating itself..

I am lucky that I went back on my diet before my "After-After" turned out to be this.. my goal is smaller than the after.

Moving on from the weight topic.. It is May 19th and it is SNOWING and actually sticking.. boo.. This is ridiculous.. I am very glad that I have such a great mother.. one who text me late last night to make sure I take in my hanging plant so it does not freeze.. Good thing I got that text.. I am watching 5 little boys today and I might just reward them with an actual movie today if they are good.. It is just so dark and gloomy and snowy..
On to my last tidbit.. James left for Grand Junction, CO today.. and will most likely not be home until really late tomorrow night, which is his birthday.. this will be 5 years in a row that James will NOT be home on his birthday...
I hope everyone has a great day..

8 is great! or it is crazy...

Today I am at my max... Being a licensed child care provider I can watch up to 8 kiddos.. I usually do not have 8 but today I do and I am really hoping it turns out to be a nice day so we can play outside..It really should not be that bad of a day.. I have 6 boys and 2 girls.. Usually the main reason for fighting is wanting a toy or riding toy that another kid has.. but now that I have enough riding toys for everyone I am hoping that there will not be any fighting... and thanks to my sister she let me borrow her baby ergo to wear the little one I watch.. It will be so much easier to carry the baby and still have 2 hands...

Or am I just NUTS??

As for my diet.. so far so good.. as of this morning I am down another .5... my goal for the week is to lose 8lbs.. you might think that is a lot but anyone who has done the Ideal diet knows it can happen your first week.. My goal is to lose 25lbs.. I want to get down smaller than I was when I quit the diet in October.. My goal for this weight loss is the middle of June..Next week after I have been back on the diet for a week I will start working out in the Schaffner Gym... oh, that reminds me I should cancel my gym membership that I pay for..

No wonder the cream never worked for me.. I never did step 2! ha ha

Seriously wish I could find these.. I would have put the in the gym as a joke for James

Have a great day everyone.. I hope I do.. I know I will...

Family Act of 2011.. we can try and make a differance...

I would love it if all or even some of you would take the time to write your Senator.. and hopefully this bill will be passed..
A bill to create a tax credit for the out-of-pocket costs associated with infertility medical treatment has been introduced in the U.S. Senate by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (NY).  Aptly named the Family Act of 2011, S 965, this bill will potentially help thousands of people seek medical treatment that otherwise would be out of reach for them. To find out where you should send your letter or see other peoples letters and to just read more about it please go to http://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/insurance_coverage/federal-laws.html
I thank you in advance for writing a letter.. and if you do let me know so I can personally thank you..

As for me..Yesterday was day one of my diet and I am not going to lie.. I was starving and I literally felt like my stomach was eating itself.. But today I feel better.. Which reminds me I guess I should go and drink a shake.. but I do have to say I have already lost 3lbs! I know that was probably water weight but still..The first 3 days are always the hardest.. but after that it becomes easier to only consume about 600-700 calories a day.. I am also a busy busy girl this week watching the kiddos. Tomorrow I have 8! but that is fine with me.. I will be sad after next week.. I will lose 3 kiddos due to the fact that they are teachers kids..

It is time to control the one thing I can...

Okay, the excuses need to end.. our party is over and summer is approaching fast.. I need to go back on the diet and lose the weight I gained since October.. I can not control the fact that I can not have kiddos but I can control my weight.. When James and I first went on Ideal Protein we were so excited and it was easy.. but for some reason starting it a second time is so much harder...I mean who really likes to diet? I wish I was one of those skinny girls who could eat and drink whatever they wanted and not gain a pound..I know that after the first week I will get back into the grove of the diet and once I start losing I will be obsessed with it.. It is just the initial starting of the diet.. So I guess I should go in the kitchen and get myself a lovely shake for breakfast..
I figure if I can not be big and pregnant over the summer I better be thing with a bikini body, right?

I hope everyone enjoys your day.. looks like it is going to be nice out today, here in Casper..

House Warming Party was a Success

Last night was our House Warming party and it was another successful party.. I think I am getting pretty good at these things..I had a blast.. I want to thank all of you who came and for the lovely gifts it was so thoughtful.. We had 30 people come throughout the night .. Only one neighbor showed up and she is so nice and sweet.. I am assuming the other neighbors are not so nice.. especially when I am pretty sure one of the called the cops... We were not to loud.. you could not hear anything outside but all of a sudden everyone at my party got a parking tickets for having their tires on the sidewalk.. and here is the kicker.. our neighbors and cars all the way down the street on both sides had their tires on the sidewalk and they did NOT get a ticket.. only the people in-front of my house and to the side of my house..So this cop obviously was targeting the people at my house.. It is just crap.. it is only a $15.00 ticket but still... And some people here drove separate from their spouses and so they each got one.
Other than that the night was so much fun.. we drank and ate and even when the party dwindled down to six people we all got into the hot tub.. It was a sad moment when everyone left and I realized it was 3:30am and I had to be up at 8:00 because were are having guests over for breakfast (someone James works with).. Needless to say, I will be napping later today..

or if I lived everyday like I did yesterday..

Tomorrow I go back on the diet... it will be a rough week for sure but it is time to lose the weight I gained back before summer.. I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday..

James is home!

James is home from Texas! I told him a friend of ours was picking him up from the airport.. when really I had my mom come over and watch the kiddos while I went to get him and surprise him! Then when we got home I showed him his birthday present..I told him there was a leak down stairs so he would go racing down the stairs.. when he walked into the unfinished part of the basement he was so shocked to see that what was once a big pile of unorganized stuff was now a gym... I made him a gym and also bought him the dial dumb bells which are not pictured below.. It is pretty neat.. instead of getting an entire weight set you have 2 dumb bells and you can dial in weight from 10-50  on each one.. now all we need to find is a used treadmill..

On a completely different note.. I want to know where yesterdays blog post went..I am so annoyed it is not showing up.. I even had 2 comments on yesterdays.. this is absurd..
Anyway, I am so excited that James is home even though it is only until Wednesday and then he is off to New Mexico (he believes)..At least we will be getting more  miles.. After all, we want to make sure we have enough miles to fly free to Philadelphia... Tomorrow is our House Warming Party and I will be a busy bee tomorrow getting the house clean and making all the food.. But for tonight James and I will be going out for sushi! yay!!! and then a nice soak in the hot tub... I hope everyone is having a wonderful Friday.. Oh I saw this next comic and thought of how many times I have done this.. and you all know you have to..

Step 1...

If the first step in AA is "We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable"... Then the first step in getting over the fact you can not have kids should be: "Admitting you are letting your infertility consume your life- that it is all you can think about... Admitting it is always a good sign to recovery, right?

I am counting down the days for James to get home.. and I am excited about our house warming party.. even though I am bummed that I invited 20 of our neighbors (who we have never met) and no one has rsvp'd that they are coming.. I even put my e-mail in-case they did not want to call someone they did not know..
Today is a gloomy day and I think we are suppose to get rain.. I have 6 kiddos today so it will be a full house.. At least they all love to dance to my kids music CD.. Their favorite is to march around the house after me singing.. "We're going on a Bear Hunt".. I hope everyone enjoys their day...

You always want something...

I think it is just human nature to "want".. The more you have the more you want.. the less you have the more you want.. it is a crazy world.. I of course, want tons of stuff.. but of course they are all big.. I am NOT a shopper and I actually HATE spending money.. I am not being sarcastic at all.. Ask my husband, I really do hate spending money.. One of my biggest fears, besides not ever having kids is being broke.. it is a fear that consumes me and I get serious anxious about it.. But of the things I do want.. is I would like a new vehicle and more money..and lots of it..so we can try again or adopt and be debt free and be able to travel and be able to only focus on my photography and not have to run a day care.. Do not get me wrong I do love all the kiddos and love what I do.. but it is also another daily reminder of what I do not have, yet, want..plus it is hard work..To dream..

James comes home on Friday.. I am SO EXCITED.. 2 weeks away is a long time.. especially when it was a very emotional week he was gone..I am also excited that on Sunday the 15th James and I are going back on the Ideal Protein diet to lose the weight we have gained since October.. Summer is almost here and I want the body I had in October back.. I want to be bikini ready for the summer..

I have nothing to blog about today...

I figured there would be a day when I really did not have much to say... ha ha that rhymed and I did not even mean for it to..This morning I ran errands and some appointments to go to.. The kiddos were all very good and are now napping... As for me.. I need to pay bills :(... and balance my check book...oh the joys of being an adult.. I should also make a list of things I need to get for my house warming party this weekend.. and I should get busy on planning and sending out the invites for my sisters baby shower..Lets hope that tomorrow I will have more to say.. perhaps even something a bit insightful.. I know, the suspense will drive you crazy.. ha ha

Happy Mothers day for everyone who cares for a child...

Happy Mothers Day to all of those who are lucky enough to be a mom! If you have kiddos, hold one in your heart instead of your arms(miscarrying a child still makes you a mother in your heart.. it is your LOST child.. and when you have more than one it is your lost children), or are waiting for your miracle, you are Mama's and need to realize that TODAY is YOUR day as well.. there may not be a card in Hallmark that says "Happy Mothers Day to a Woman who will be a Great mother and has tried and lost the chance so many times" but there should be..

And even for those people who are not losing or even trying but yet care or look after a child that is not your own.. you are a mother.. you are a mother to those children while their "mother" is working.. I was actually really surprised when I was in Hallmark the other day getting my mother and step-mother-in-law a card when I noticed that they actually had cards for your Aunt or Care Giver... I opened and read them wondering if it was all about Aunts and Caregivers that took custody and raised them.. and I was so happy when I read them and realized that they were actual Hallmark cards addressed to Aunts and Caregivers that "help" raise them.. one even said "even though you are not a mother and you are my Aunt, you are a second mother to me.. Happy Mothers Day"..

I am glad that Hallmark actually makes these cards.. I also saw awesome cards for mothers day for birth moms and adoptive parents and for foster parents..

It was that moment in Hallmark that I realized that even though it honestly breaks my heart year after year to celebrate mothers day with mothers and yet I am not one.. I AM A MOTHER.. I am a mother to 6 children a day per 5 day work week.. I watch them for 8-10 hours a day... I help raise them to become who they will become.. I know that some may argue with me but I do not care.. I know that I am awesome at my job and what I do most "mothers" would never want to do or could handle doing.. So I have declared today a celebration for me.. the fact that I might not have a child of my own but I sure do raise a bunch of them...

So I am saying HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to ME! I am the only person obviously who would say that to me.. but I do feel I am a mother and I should get to be celebrated.. I have 6 kids part time so I guess that makes me a part time mother... ( I do have to add that my father-in-law did wish me a Happy Mothers day today.. I said "What?" and he replied.. "we will always think positive for your own child one day but you are a mother..")

So is this rant just a way for me to feel better about today? Maybe.. but you know what? it actually does help.. because I do take pride in helping "RAISE" all the kiddos that I do.. So again... Happy Mothers Day to all of those who have kiddos, hold one in your heart instead of your arms, or are waiting for your miracle, you are Mama's...

I think I should create my own card line for mothers day next year.. stay tuned.. ha ha

Feeling a bit hungover today...

I am a bit hungover today.. as the day goes on I do get better.. I went out last night..First I went to the Pirate Murder Mystery Dinner at the Elks with my father-in-law and his wife.. then I met up with Justin his girlfriend Jesse and their friend for drinks.. Needless to say, I got drunk.. ended up being a night of drinking...talking about religion (never a good idea and I know better).. and crying.. I guess that is what happens when you get drunk and talk about misfortunes in life..I know by reading about my night last night you might assume that is was not fun.. but it was.. there was no fighting going on I guess you could chalk it up to just good ole debate.. I was smart last night and did not drive home.. at one point I hit a wall and said to everyone.. someone will need to drive me home..
As for my plans today... I am working on a few projects around the house.. later I will stop by a birthday party.. and at some point I need to go to the mall and pick up a mothers day gift... I only waited so long because I was waiting on my sister to mail me some coupons..
I hope you all enjoy the comic of the day :D

TGIF... to bad it's not the Friday my hubby comes home...

I am so glad it is Friday.. I have had a rough week.. and of all weeks James is gone and will not return until next Friday.. I miss him so much.. I am used to him being gone but this time it has been a bit rough...At least tonight I am going to a murder mystery dinner with James dad so that should be fun.. and Saturday I will finish my project.. and then Sunday... uuggg... Actually, Sunday I wish I could just stay home and not do anything.. but I know that is not an option.. even though I would love NOT to be around people who are celebrating the fact that they are mothers.... I kind of feel like this year with mothers day so close to my disappointment and realization that I will most likely never be a mom.. I feel Sunday will be like pouring salt on the wound.. But I have a mother who I love dearly so I will have to suck up the fact that I want to just stay home and will get together for dinner or whatever we are doing..
So, I have tried mediation to get my mind off of things.. That did NOT work at all.. it actually made me think of twice as many things and my mind was practically spinning thinking of what I need to do, have been dealing with, money.. etc..I guess I will have to try and find another outlet...

Happy Cinco De Mayo....

I hope everyone has a great Cinco De Mayo...my plans consist of watching 2 cuties today and this evening going over to my parents house for some Mexican food...

Last night I decided to try out a free sample of Breath Right Nose Strips... and I slept so well.. I actually slept so well, I did not even wake to my alarm.... Perhaps the free sample did its job and I will have to buy some..

I am still not sure if my allergies are back or if I am getting yet another cold.. all I know is I am miserable..My husbands returns from Texas in 8 days! I am so excited.. Yesterday I sent out all the paper invites (for all the non-computer using people) for our Housewarming Party...Everyone enjoy your day and hopefully you all get to enjoy a corona or a margarita tonight.. and for those of you who watch.. Greys  Anatomy and Private Practice are all new tonight!

It's snowing,... and it is May :(

It's snowing, it's blowing, the old man is growing, he ate too much one day for lunch now every part of him is showing....

Today is a gloomy day.. dark outside and snowing..I only have 3 little boys today... so I think maybe we will go somewhere.. well, that is if I can get another car seat..My back has been killing me and I did not sleep well at all last night...
However, I am wearing my other new shirt today... my PCOS awareness shirt.. The picture was taken by Jack (he is 3.5 yrs)

Picture taken by Jack 3.5yrs old

I hope everyone is enjoying their morning.. I know I am enjoying watching Jack and Krew dance around the house singing "Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog"...

Until next time....

Infertility Sucks!

So I got my shirts in the mail yesterday! I am very excited about them.. The infertility Sucks shirt I am wearing today and I tomorrow I will be wearing the shirt I bought to support PCOS..

Loving my new shirt...

Today so far has been a good day.. I have been watching 6 kiddos today because one little boy is home sick today..Tonight I will continue to work on my project and I am going over to my parents house for dinner.. Corn Beef and Cabbage! Then I will come home and watch Glee.. James has only been gone for a few days but I sure do miss him...
I guess I should start thinking about what I am getting my mom and my mother-in-law for mothers day... Oh, yet another Mothers Day of not being a mother.. A great yearly reminder..

Just another Manic Monday...

I am exhausted this morning and do not know why...need to snap out of it.. I am watching 4 kiddos today.. I need to finish cleaning my kitchen.. Balance my check book (and yes I still do that and use a bank register, I'm old school)...Pay bills...Print off insurance forms and mail them off...Create a Facebook Event for our house warming party as well as print paper invites for the few people who do NOT have facebook...then when all the kiddos are gone I will go out and about in search for items for my project..So, like I said before I am super busy today... Plus side, is I will feel great when I am all caught up on things and my project is underway ( in due time I will reveal what my project is)...and I am watching 4 of the cutest little boys in the world..

I am also super excited to get my infertility sucks shirt in the mail today.. Believe me, I will be sporting that shirt tomorrow and will post a picture of me in it..

Oh, here is a little note to people.. I understand that people feel bad for me and might feel the need to tip toe around me on topics of pregnancy... However, if you are pregnant.. that is awesome.. there is no need to hide it from me... hiding it from me actually is more hurtful.. It makes me think that you don't trust me enough to be apart of your moment..After all, I have been trusting everyone with my life and my experience... I deal with how I react to each person who tells me they are pregnant different.. Yes, for sure, I will be jealous.. I mean if I were not jealous wouldn't that be a bit strange?..Everyone just needs to know this.. I can take it.. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I am going to jump up and down with excitement for you or through you a congratulatory party.. but nonetheless, I will be happy for you... I have had to come to terms with the fact that friends and family will all probably have numerous children before I do..I understand that you can not put your life on hold just because I can not have kids... We all know that Life is Not Fair..

As for me and kiddos.....

Everyone enjoy your Monday...

Sunday, Sunday...

So last night was a success.. we had 14 adults and 8 kiddos here for the fight.. Did any of you guys see the fights? They were good..It was a great way to get my mind off of things.. Now it is Sunday and James leaves for Texas for 2 weeks and I will be here cleaning up after last night...I will stay busy while he is gone I have a few projects I want to get started on. One of them is I need to send out our house warming party invites.. It is going to me May 14 so I think I should get out the invites now..

Oh, and I did find that Infertility Sucks shirt and am so excited to get it in the mail tomorrow.. Hope everyone enjoys their day..